Who and Whom

Whom is the object form of who. Whom is not common in informal English. We prefer to use who as an object.

• Do you know whom you are speaking to? (Formal)
• Do you know who you are speaking to? (Informal)
• To whom did you give it? (Formal)
• Who did you give it to? (Informal)

After a preposition, we must use whom. Who is not possible in this case.

• With whom did you go? (NOT With who did you go?)

In identifying or restrictive relative clauses we do not usually use whom. Either we leave out the object pronoun, or we use that or who.

• Isn’t this the woman we met in the pub last night? OR Isn’t this the woman who / that we met in the pub last night? (More natural than ‘Isn’t this the woman whom we met in the pub last night?’)

In non-identifying relative clauses whom can be used.

• My son, whom you met last week, wants to see you again.

Both who and whom can be used in sentences like ‘He was trying to find an old friend who/whom he had known since childhood’.

• He has a daughter who / whom I believe is destined to be famous.

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